Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Please, don't feel sorry!

OK, just a warning... here I go again!

I am so tired of people telling me that they feel sorry for my children because we do not do what main stream America and society tell us that we "should" be doing with our children. My children are very happy and close to us and each other. I have never seen siblings this close and I pray they will always be like this. Eric and I restrict what they do because we feel that if they are not introduced to anything we do not do or believe in, they will have a better life.
For example, if they are not around people drinking alcohol or using curse words, they will not have a tendency to do that, or at least have a conviction not to do so. We have already had to deal with smoking, since Eric's dad and quite a few neighbors do. We tell them it is an absolutely disgusting habit and that there are many health risks to those who do it.   We do not sugar coat anything we tell them. We are very honest with them.  
I have already blogged about how holidays are not celebrated in our house, and that we do celebrate the Holy Days that are in the Bible.
We have also recently banned the children from being around our neighbors. I let the children be around the neighbors this summer and it was a big mistake. I was falling to the voice of everyone else that told me that the kids needed this type of interaction.
The truth is, they didn't. I had more behavioral problems and outside stress than I could have imagined. I became the yard that all the neighborhood kids came to and no one would respect my rules or authority, so it was abruptly ended and until we have the trees down and fence up, my children will be in our fenced area playing as they should have been in the whole time. As most would assume, the neighbor children use curse words and it seemed all the little ones wanted to play were "doctor" and guns, which neither are allowed in our household. No one seems to correct their language and actions, since none of them are at home with their parents, and are always looked after by someone else... Don't get me wrong, I understand some families choose to work, but these children never see their parents, they are there from dawn to dusk and see their parents MAYBE right before bed. That is not a way to raise a child. Children need their parents. Especially if they are not being guided on the right path and are fed junk food constantly. Why have children if you cannot spend quality time with them? Most of the time I would I hear that they are constantly shuffled from this or that activity. I imagine it is so the parents don't really have to deal with them. It's just exhausting listening to the things that they "have" to do on a weekly basis. People say let kids be kids. This is not letting kids be kids. Kids being kids means to let them play and enjoy nature and learn about the world through their own explorations. Not someone reading it from a book and them never getting 1st hand experience on how to grow something in a garden and what birds and insects look like and act like. I have learned so much more since I started homeschooling Tabitha than I ever did in the prison they call Public School. Think about it. You send your child to a secured building where, for 8 hours a day, they are told what to do and where to go and what to eat. They are given very little time to use their imagination and in no way can have "social skills", since they are not allowed to talk unless spoken to and are in a sardine can with only kids their own age. Most public school children don't know how to talk to anyone except someone their own age. I can attest to that! I was made to go to private and public school. I never talked to adults unless I was forced to and would ignore the elderly because I was afraid of them. My children will go to anyone and start a conversation, because they have not been forced into a box that tells them they have to communicate with mostly kids their age.
Another thing I have encountered is that people think I have my children in gymnastics to meet other children. NOT the case. They are there to become confident in their own body skills and learn other ways to exercise and keep fit. The other kids are just a little plus that they can have conversations with as long as they are doing what they are there for in the first place.
I could go on and on, but I feel I need to stop before I really get into a tizzy.

Please understand that this is what works for our family. Everyone has their own philosophy, but I like to try and keep my life as simple as possible.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

"It's OK..."

The title of this post seems to be calm, but let me assure you it is not.

You know when you are in the company of someone and you tell your child not to do something? Why is it that others feel compelled to say "It's OK with me if he/she does that."? Isn't that basically telling the child not to listen to your parents, even though they have said otherwise?

This just really irks me when this happens, to the point that the next person who says it to my kids will be getting an earful.